Everyone I Hate in Digimon Must DIE!!!!!!!
by Empress of the Eclipse
Summary: The title is self-explanitory. Everyone I hate in Digimon dies. For some reason, my original posting of this vanished so here it is, reposted, with the death of Michael added! Deaths include Hawkmon, Yolei, Etemon, TK's hat, Tentomon, Mimi, Willis and Mic


Everyone I Don't Like In Digimon MUST DIE!!!!!  
By the Empress of the Eclipse  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon (fans of these particular characters will be very glad that I don't!!!!) I'm not making money out of this, I never will make money out of this!  
  
Character deaths. Obviously.  
  
This is a very stupid little fic that I wrote in some spare time. Sorry to all fans of the characters I kill off. I KNOW it's crap, it's not meant to be a literary master-piece.  
  
I had to repost this. Fanfic.net seems to have eaten the original posting. So I modified it slightly to kill someone else I hate!  
  
Once upon a Digi-time, the Digidestined were walking though the Digiworld with no aims in mind.  
"I'm hungry," Yolei announced.  
"So are we!" all the Digimon chorused like little robots.  
"Let's eat then!" Davis said.  
So they all sat down before remembering that they didn't have any food.  
"I know," Davis said "Yolei, you go off and hunt for something."  
Yolei wandered off.  
"Right," Davis said "Now she's gone, let's roast and eat Hawkmon!"  
"Now wait a moment," Hawkmon said in his annoyingly gay voice "You can't eat me!"  
"Oh yes we can you over-grown chicken!" Davis said. Tai bashed Hawkmon on the head with a club, Sora plucked him and by the time Yolei came back, they were roasting something over a fire.  
"Oooh, chicken!" she said.  
"Yes, chicken," Tai said.  
So they ate Hawkmon/chicken and then Yolei noticed that Hawkmon was missing. Everyone had been expecting her to notice before because Hawkmon's only redeeming feature was his tendency to talk to food in a very friendly way before scoffing the lot.  
"Hey, where's my iddy diddy Hawkmon-kins?" she asked.  
"We ATE HIM!!" everyone yelled.  
Yolei was so shocked by this that she had a heart attack and died right then and there. All the Digimon were so hungry that they leapt on her carcass and ripped her apart like little piranhas.  
"Ew. Yolei flesh. Bet that's revolting," Davis said.  
Then they all carried on their way, wandering though the Digiworld. They were attacked by Etemon but Matt shot him with a high-powered rifle and he dropped down dead.  
"Where'd the rifle come from?" Tai asked.  
"Oh, it was growing on that high-powered rifle tree," Matt explained.  
"This part of the Digiworld must be connected with Texas," Izzy said.  
They carried on walking, Matt shooting annoying miscellaneous Digimon that kept appearing every now and then. He accidentally winged Biyomon but no one really noticed in all the excitement of watching Matt wielding a rifle like someone from a film. Eventually Mimi started crying.  
"I just can't take this anymore!" she shrieked "I can't stand all the killing and maiming and fighting! I can't stand it! And the gunpowder is really making a mess of my outfit!"  
Matt shrugged and put her out of her misery with a well-placed bullet in the head. Then, as he'd run out of bullets, he threw the gun away. The gun hopped though a rip in the space-time continuum and hit Tracy from Pokémon on the head and he dropped down dead, crushing the odious yellow rat Pikachu and the pathetic little egg Togapie beneath his weight. Then Team Rocket took over the world, overthrew their pathetic boss, locked Ash and Misty up in some cells, nicked all their Pokémon and lived happily ever after (so let this be a lesson, all actions have a consequence and throwing away an empty rifle can have the strangest consequences of all).  
Anyway, back in our universe, the remaining Digidestined continued, boredly discussing the ethics of Star Wars when Izzy (who was getting carried away) stepped on Tentomon. Tentomon was crushed like the beetle he is and died instantly. Izzy cried but they all consoled him, telling him that Tentomon was enjoying little bug heaven and then they all continued on their way, leaving Tentomon's squashed body because not even Izzy really gave a shit. They were then suddenly attacked by Myotismon for no apparent reason apart from Myotismon being really, really bored. Anyway, Armadillomon digivolved into Digmon and - rather ambitiously - attacked Myotismon. Myotismon gave him a look and then flattered him like the pathetic moron he is - well was. Everyone cheered because they were sick of cowboy wannbe with a name so crap that it bought shame down on Digimon everywhere. Patamon decided that he should probably avenge Digmon and digivolved into Angemon. Myotismon used his vampirey powers to zap Angemon down to Patamon so Patamon could only armour-digivolve and could never become Angemon again because Angemon was a great big dickhead. He then shrank TK down so he was in his Season 1 form because TK was so much more cute that way and in Season 2 he had a tendency to look a bit moronic. He also took TK's Season 2 hat and crimson lightninged it because that hat sucked! Then Myotismon went home, satisfied that he'd done a good days work because he isn't really evil, just misunderstood. Eventually, the Digidestined left the Digital World and returned to the real one. But as they walked out of the school, Sora got knocked over by a car and broke both her legs. Although she lived, she was a cripple for life and had to be looked after forever but the Digidestined still kept in contact with her and were very nice to her. And in America, Willis and Michael accidentally got shot because of the stupid gun laws which led to people finally twigging that the gun laws were bad but it was a bit late for the annoying Willis and the even more annoying Michael who were already dead. Luckily, Izzy didn't notice his friends death as he was too busy with Sora and couldn't really care anyway. And nobody cared about Michael because he was an utter shit-head who REALLY pissed everyone off. The rest of the Digidestined all lived long and happy lives because they'd got rid of all the morons in the group.   
  
The End.  
  
A/N Stupid huh? Please don't say in your reviews that you think I should have killed so-and-so because since I haven't killed them, I must like them mustn't I? I didn't kill Sora because most of the time I quite like Sora (she used to be my second favourite character after Matt - see Matt, was always best!), but sometimes she really, really annoys me (espcially when she marries Matt! You bitch, let him go to Tai!) So I crippled her. Please no one take offence at this fic or get upset, it's only a silly joke. 


End file.
